Being An Introverted Blogger

You may think I'm an extrovert because of all the blogger events that I attend but in reality I'm an introvert. Going to any kind of event takes a lot of effort on my part, but I know that there's a lot of positive things that come with being social once in a while. I've have the opportunity to meet some great blogger friends and also network in the blogging community by attending events. If you follow me on Twitter then you may have seen that I got overwhelmed at a recent shopping event which triggered my anxiety. The reason why I'm even sharing this in the first place is because I've had that day's vlog sitting in my channel unpublished because I've been scared to post it. Introverts are very misunderstood so I felt like finally posting something about it in hopes that someone will relate to this.

I'm one of those people who is at their happiest when they're alone, that's why I enjoy blogging and filming videos. People often think I'm as outgoing as I am in my videos but I'm only that way with the people I trust the most. The Laura you're getting in my videos is when I feel the most comfortable, but most of the time I'm very quiet and reserved. I've been that way ever since I can remember...

Being social has never been easy for me. It has always required so much effort for me not get overwhelmed but there's some cases that I just have to listen to my body and mind and give up. I kind of regret not pushing myself harder in college but it's never too late to start meeting new people. During the past year I've really learned how to keep my composure in social situations, and slowly but surely I've began opening myself to certain people. I'm definitely not the life of the party and I still suck at selling myself to others, but I'm really trying my hardest to improve my social skills.

One of the things I never show on my vlogs are my pre-socializing pep talks. I take around 5-10 minutes to mentally prepare myself to be in a room full of people. It's necessary for me to do so because otherwise I run the risk of getting a little anxious in public. Most of the time I've had nothing to worry about because I know that my friends will be there, but that wasn't the case last week at the event I went to.

I was under the impression that the event was going to be a small gathering but when I arrived it was packed to the point that I immediately felt claustrophobic. The event was at a hotel and due to the rain, it was moved indoors. There was a lot of booths and people walking around, so it was tough to move around without having to push. There was also loud music, a lot of loud people, alcohol flowing, and people everywhere. I walked around the venue in order to give this event a chance but the more I roamed around by myself, the more I started panicking. I started shaking, breathing heavily, feeling very hot, and getting cold sweat which are all signs of when a panic attack is coming. I quickly left the venue and started roaming around in Downtown in order to calm myself down.

My minor breakdown (I say minor because I've experienced much worse) was not the event's fault, nor mine. One of the things I used to do is get frustrated with the fact that I'm an introvert. I've learned that being an introvert is not a curse but something that you have to work with. You can still go to social events but maybe it's good to be selective with the events that you go to. If you end up going to a place that overwhelms you then leave- it's as simple as that. And if you were personally invited then the best thing to do is to excuse yourself. Sometimes you just have to really listen to yourself, if you're extremely uncomfortable then it's not worth sticking around.

Now that I've written a little too much about it, let me show you the vlog. I didn't film every single second because there's stuff I'd like to keep private, but you do get to see a shift in personality in the vlog.
I would like to apologize for the different blog post but being an introvert is a big part of who I am. As an introvert it can often feel like you're alone in a sea of extroverts, so that's why I've "exposed" myself as an introvert. Hopefully this will be relatable to a few of you or at least given you a little insight to the other sides of me.

There's really no question of the day today, but if you're also an introvert let me know in the comments below.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

No comments :

Post a Comment